When You Look At Me
by bellaklutz2010
Summary: Bella Swan has always dreamed of falling in love. This all changes when she meets Edward Cullen. Someone who sees something in her that she has never seen before. Will she give into love, or will she run away from the one thing she has always dreamed of?


BPOV

Life is a funny thing. You can dream about something until the end of time, and never truly experience the brilliance of reality. For quite some time I believed I would never experience the reality of love. That all changed when Edward came into my life.

I had always been a shy person. One of the smart girls who never spoke, and who never allowed anyone to know what I was truly thinking. There was no point in drawing attention to myself, seeing as I was nothing.

I had adapted to living this way because I was forced to. From the time I was eight years old, I had been forced to hide who I really was. No one accepted me for me. When they starred at my face all they saw was a clumsy little nobody. When I looked in the mirror I saw the exact same thing.

Life wasn't always this way. When I was born my parents lived in a small town; a blip on the map really. We were happy there. Life was simple, and time was slow. Though I dreamed of moving to a big city, I never really wanted to leave the small town life.

My parents decided to compromise with me. We ended up moving a half an hour away from Capri, which was where we were originally from. The new town we lived in was called Sycaville.

I knew the first time I walked into Mount Rushmore Elementary that my life would be different. The girls of Sycaville appeared to be perfect in every way. They all enjoyed playing sports and having sleepovers, while I loved to read. Each girl had perfect hair and perfect bodies, while I was slightly chunky and my hair was always a mess.

I was an outcast from the very beginning. Each day was truly like living in hell. I wanted to end my life. I thought that if I could just end my existence then everyone would be happy. No one would miss me, and life would go back to being perfect for my parents.

It was not easy for them to have a unique child. Every day I would come home with another bruise on my body and another crack in my heart. I was never happy, and I was constantly sick. Living this life was killing me, and I knew I didn't have the strength to continue living it.

When I was thirteen years old, I finally broke down. I stopped eating, I stopped putting on makeup, and I dressed in sweats every single day. Every tear I shed made me weaker and weaker, until I was nothing but a glimpse of my former self.

The day I graduated from junior high ended up being one of the happiest days of my life. My parents had been planning to move for quite some time, but they decided to keep it a secret until I had finished the year. With a diploma in my hand I walked across the stage and back up to the balcony.

As I starred at the seat across from me I noticed my name. Carved into the seat read a not that said, Bella Swan is FUGLY. I hope she dies. If my parents hadn't told me we were moving to Forks, Washington that night I would have killed myself. But fortunately, that did tell me we were moving.

A few months later I was standing at the entrance of Forks High School. I had made up my mind that I would no longer be fearful of what people thought. I just wanted to be me for a change.

"Isabella Swan," I told the curly haired woman in the administration office. "I'm a new student here…I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule." The woman looked me over for a moment before declaring, "You're Charlie and Renée's daughter."

I must have forgotten to mention that my parents both attended this school. This was where they grew up and also where they fell in love. When I was two months old they decided to move in order to assist my grandmother who had Alzheimer's.

"Yes," I said shyly. "I am." The woman handed me a copy of my schedule and pushed me toward the direction of my first class. It was in building four, and my teacher was Mrs. Miller. My first class of the day was Family Consumer Science.

As I sat down in my seat I realized I was the first one there. A few minutes later a tall girl with caramel colored hair sat in front of me. I could hardly contain my excitement. I could become best friends with this girl. I could be a normal teenager with a normal life.

"I'm Bella," I blurted out, holding out my hand. The girl laughed at me for a moment then outstretched her hand to meet mine. She gave me a high five then flipped her hair.

"I'm Tabi," she said shuffling around her books awkwardly. "I'm assuming you're new here." Was it really that obvious? I was suddenly fearful that once again I wouldn't be accepted.

"How could you tell," I said, gulping nervously.

"You're actually talking to me," the girl laughed. "That's not something that happens very often around here. Most people like to ignore me instead of acknowledging that I actually exist.

"I'd understand if you wanted to stop talking to me now," she continued. "It would be best if you want any kind of positive reputation at this school." My heart fell into my throat as I starred at this girl. She was just like me.

"I don't believe in judging people," I said, clearing my throat. "You see, I know what it's like to be invisible. I don't really care about my reputation. I never really have." The girl looked down at me with wide eyes.

"Wow," she laughed. "You really are different, kid." I smiled sheepishly and doodled aimlessly on my purple notebook. While waiting for class to begin, Tabi drilled me on questions about my personal life. It wasn't until a tall stranger with dark bronze hair came in that she stopped talking.

"Edward," she screamed at the top of her lungs. The boy stopped abruptly, dropping his notebook in the process. He scrambled quickly to the floor to retrieve it.

"Hello, Tabitha," he said politely. "Did you have a pleasant summer?"

"Of course I did," she smiled happily. "The only thing that was missing was you. Where the hell have you been Cullen? Did you drop off the face of the earth?" Edward smiled sheepishly before meeting my gaze.

"I'm Edward," he said nervously. I had never seen anyone look at me with such intensity. It was almost mystical. "Edward Cullen. I'm fourteen years old. I've lived here my whole life."

"I'm B-Bella," I stuttered. The way he starred at me made me nervous, yet excited somehow. It was like he was seeing something that no one had ever seen in me before.

"Bella Swan," Tabi interjected. "She used to live in Sycaville, Arizona. She has a father named Charlie and a mother named Renée. She loves to read write. She cannot decide if she has a favorite color. Her favorite subject is English and she has lived here for two minutes."

"Is all that information accurate, Miss Swan," Edward asked, adjusting his glasses. I couldn't help but laugh as I starred at the gangly boy. He looked so nervous, and I couldn't decipher why.

"Yes," I said holding out my hand. It was shaking and my palms were sweating profusely. None the less he took my hand into his own and starred deeply into my eyes. I bit my lip nervously and looked away from him.

"Would you mind if I sat beside you, Miss Swan," he asked, setting his books down.

"Of course," I said, moving my things over so that he could sit. "But only if you call me Bella."

"Bella," he breathed, starring at me once more.


End file.
